Lying in a warm bath
my thoughts slowed by the heat of the water
feeling dizzy
my face growing hot
sweat dripping down my face.
I take the razor
looking at my reflection
seeing all my demons
clearer than ever before
making me cry out
to god
or whatever divine force is up above
tell me which way to go
hearing nothing
except the static
thats growing louder in my ears
drowning out the dripping of the tap
the sound of the razor
being slid off the edge of the tub
drowning out my now shallow breath
looking at my reflection
the beautiful way it shines in my hand
Thinking for a moment is this a mistake
short lived like everything else in my life
isnt long before I firm my mind
letting the heat and the static take over
bearing my wrist
introducing it to the blade
slowly sliding it up my arm
as the blood begins to escape
dripping down my arm
I watch it as it pours into the hotwater
swirling and mixing
dizzyness and confusion comes quickly
I can feel every heartbeat
every pulse of blood
flowing through my body
and out of my arm
I lay back naked
alone
bleeding
and dying
my eyes going dark
my breath becoming still
fading
fading
into oblivion

Just fucking around Part 2

Just fucking around

No, A 3 year old didn't draw this I did!

Blog war holiday truce.

Take your Christmas and shove it!

Christmas is so damned depressing. I know they say people are generally more depressed at this time of year. But OMG. What the hell is wrong with me:-(
I haven't even been able to write in days.
Hence the extra lame blog entrys.
*sigh*
thats all for now
bah humbug
grinchy grinch and all that fun stuff.

Somewhere in between
I can't be losing sleep
over this, no I can't
and now I cannot stop pacing
give me a few hours
I'll have this sorted out
if my mind would just stop racing

cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
this cannot be happening

this is over my head
but underneath my feet
cause by tommorow morning
I'll have this thing beat
and everything will be back to the way it was
I wish that it was just that easy

cause I'm waiting for tonight
and then I'm waiting for tommorow
and I'm somewhere in between
what is real and just a dream

would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
don't be surprised if I collapse
down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this

Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
this cannot be happening, yeah

cause I'm waiting for tonight
and then waiting for tomorrow
and I'm somewhere in between
what is real and just a dream
what is real and just a dream
what is real and just a dream
what is real and just a dream




Everything

Find me here
and speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
you are the light
that's leading me
to the place
where I find peace again

you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life
to my soul
you are my purpose
your'e everything

and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this yeah

you calm the storms
and you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
take me deeper now

and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this


and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
woudl you tell me
how could it be any better than this

cause you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything

you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything

you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything

and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this

and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this






Simon

catch your breath
hit the wall
scream out loud
as you start to cral
back in your cage
the only place
where they will
leave you alone
cause the weak will seek the weaker till theyve broken them
could you get it back again
would it be the same
fulfillment to their lack of strangth at your expense
left you with no defense
they tore it down

and I have felt the same
as you I've felt the same
as you I've felt the same
as you I've felt the same

locked inside
the only place
where you feel sheltered
where you feel safe
you lost yourself
in your search to find
something else to hide behind
cause the fearful always preyed upon your confidence
didnt they see the consequence
they pushed you around
the arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones
breaking them till they've become
just another crown

and I have felt the same
as you Ive felt the same
as you ive felt the same
as you ive felt the same

refuse to feel
anything at all
refuse to slip
refuse to fall
cant be weak
cant stand still
watch your back
cause no one will

you don't know why they had to go this far
traded your worth for these scars
for your only company
and don't believe the lies that they have told to you
not one word was true
youre alright
youre alright
youre alright

and I have felt the same
as you ive felt the same
as you ive felt the same
as you ive felt the same

Fkn lyrics

Ever (foreign flag)





You make that dance look so new
And I'm on a face like you've never seen
I'm yours tonight
So come on

Light up the stage
So we can all take off anywhere
We'll never come back ever


You wear that cast so cool
And I'm on a face like you've never seen
Before around
So come on


Light up the stage
So we can all take off anywhere
We'll never come back ever


Right on the stage
You picture all of us everywhere
We'll never come back ever




Your skull is red

Your skull is red (fingernail red)
Your bones are red
And it feels gold

Your lungs are red(fingernail red)
Your clothes are red
And it feels gold

Blog WAAAARS!

You have your hussys I have mine

Hows this for your PF scale gotta love a national socialist in a uniform!

Erica-ism's

Brightspot-Any of the few things that makes me smile.
Craptabulous-An annoying and boring day.
Domesticated-Any man or women who can cook, clean, and generally handle a domestic life.
Fantabulous-Fantastic and eventful day
Fuzzy/Fuzzies-Those feelings that special someone gives you in your stomach by mearly just being around.
Hoo-hoo-Cack.
Lane-With holding something for an excessive amouth of time.
Melt-When you get the fuzzies all the way into your chest.
Miserable-Depths of despair.
Snuzzles-Better than snuggles. Passionate and meaningful cuddling, kissing, and touching.
Wrath-The worst influence in my life so far.
Yum-Sexy.