Freya

Today was baby day..Child-birth is so amazing..I can't wait to have some little ones of my own...I feel very exhausted...been a very long week..with a death at the begining of last week and a birth at the begining of this one...


Ah I wish I could make sense of it all...

http://www.ifamericansknew.org/

In the mood for some EROTIC ART

I don't ever want to hear the words fuck-and-fest together ever again.

One Last Goodbye
Anathema

F#-G
how i needed you
D-Bm
how i grieve now you’re gone
F#-G
in my dreams i see you
D-Bm
i awake so alone

F#-G Em
i know you didn’t want to leave
D-Bm A
your heart yearned to stay
F#-G Em
but the strength i always loved in you
D-Bm A
finally gave way

G Bm A
somehow i knew you would leave me this way
Em Bm A
somehow i knew you could never stay
Em
and in the early morning light
Bm A
after a silent, peaceful night
Em Bm A
you took my heart away

F#-G F#-G
in my dreams i can see you
D-Bm D-Bm
i can tell you how i feel
F#-G F#-G
in my dreams i can hold you
D-Bm D-Bm
and it feels so real

F#-G G-Em
i still feel the pain
D-Bm A
i still feel your love
F#-G G-Em
i still feel the pain
D-Bm A
i still feel your love

G Bm A
and somehow i knew you could never never stay
Em Bm A
and somehow i knew you would leave me
Em
and in the early morning light
Bm A
after a silent, peaceful night
Em
you took my heart away
Bm A
oh i wish, i wish you could have stayed

E- Bm- A

Took to many codeines..I feel pretty numb...feels good right now...Sometimes I wonder if i'm crazy sometimes..I think I may be..But not crazy enough to be thrown into a hospital...That would break me I believe..I am praying what little strength I have left and what strength he's extending to me will be enough to get me through this bullshit.

I wonder lots...Is it enough to ruin someones heart in order to appease mine?
Will I be able to make it alone...while I wait for my knight?
Am I going to let this fear take over me and stifle what could be?

Am I so cold? So fucking selfish...A liar...Do I deserve any happiness?

Help me....hold me....push me.....love me...take me....

If I can't get through this...I mine as well roll over and die.

Ah this depression bullshit is starting again..and exactly the wrong moment...the moment I have to be the strongest...for me and for him..I can just feel myself slipping deeper and deeper back into that fucking hole...when is it just going to close up..seal up so I can't slide back down that bitch..

I pray all this makes me stronger...and doesn't jade me to the point where I can't recover...from the drugs..from my broken promises...that grip on my emotions

Reality

I am so tired
My eyes are so heavy
but my brain wont let them close
my body feels sluggish
warm
begging for sleep
peace
solitude
its my only escape
the drugs dont work anymore
sleep eternal
I yearn for rest of the soul of the mind

Beautifully profound

This is what happens when it is minus 50 C

No shit eh HAHAHAHAHAHA

I haven't really written much in the past few months. I've been soo busy loving Mik..and being loved for one damn time in my life. I do try and post pics every now and again. For who I have no clue. The only person I know for certain that looks at my blog is Mik..(thats all that counts in our world isnt it) AAAHHH anyway, things are good as long as wrath isn't making me miserable. But I do have some salvation at 2 and 1030 everynight:D.
Anyways I'm done with my pathetic attempt at a blog entry.

Thanks for fixing this Mik

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Halloween Costume Coupons

WHATS NEW WHATS NEW WHATS NEW

I L O V E Y O U

MIK

Teepees and such

How can you not....

How can you not love a guy who gets your name embroidered on a towel.
I mean...the devotion it takes for a guy to get his and her towels.
This is the man I am going to marry and spend the rest of my life with.
HOW COULD I NOT?
The towels don't lie.

THIS HEART OF MINE
I WISH I COULD RIP IT OUT MYSELF
STOMP IT INTO THE GROUND
GRIND IT INTO THE EARTH
RIP IT UP
AND BURN IT
SO YOU CAN NEVER MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THIS AGAIN
SO GUILTY
SO EMPTY
SO SCARED
YOU FEED OFF THE DESTRUCTION
OF SPIRITS AND SOULS
BREAKING EVERYONE
WHO CROSSES YOUR PATH
SET ME FREE OF YOUR CONTROL
THERES NOTHING LEFT TO RAPE
LET ME GATHER UP THE PEICES OF MY SOUL

Now those look comfy

What's Your Ugg Look?
Ugg Cozy (Cornflower)

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Hate and Love

Hate
I hate you without rhyme or reason
I hate you when you are at your best
because it's usually when you make people feel they are at thier worst
I hate you forever no matter what you say or do
I hate you for the thoughts you bring into my head
I hate you with whats left of my soul and every cell in between
I hate you quite truely and devotedly as well.




Love
I love you plain and simple
I love you without boundries or rules
I love you when you are at your best
and of course I love you when you are at your worst
I love you for richer or poorer
in sickness and in health
through the distance
forever till the end of time
and where ever it may bring us beyond that
I love you with whats left of my soul and every cell in between
I love you quite truely and devotedly

Afraid of paradise

I want you
I need you
I love you
Mik

STARDUST WE ARE

Ummmm yes!