Freya

Today was baby day..Child-birth is so amazing..I can't wait to have some little ones of my own...I feel very exhausted...been a very long week..with a death at the begining of last week and a birth at the begining of this one...


Ah I wish I could make sense of it all...

http://www.ifamericansknew.org/

In the mood for some EROTIC ART

I don't ever want to hear the words fuck-and-fest together ever again.

One Last Goodbye
Anathema

F#-G
how i needed you
D-Bm
how i grieve now you’re gone
F#-G
in my dreams i see you
D-Bm
i awake so alone

F#-G Em
i know you didn’t want to leave
D-Bm A
your heart yearned to stay
F#-G Em
but the strength i always loved in you
D-Bm A
finally gave way

G Bm A
somehow i knew you would leave me this way
Em Bm A
somehow i knew you could never stay
Em
and in the early morning light
Bm A
after a silent, peaceful night
Em Bm A
you took my heart away

F#-G F#-G
in my dreams i can see you
D-Bm D-Bm
i can tell you how i feel
F#-G F#-G
in my dreams i can hold you
D-Bm D-Bm
and it feels so real

F#-G G-Em
i still feel the pain
D-Bm A
i still feel your love
F#-G G-Em
i still feel the pain
D-Bm A
i still feel your love

G Bm A
and somehow i knew you could never never stay
Em Bm A
and somehow i knew you would leave me
Em
and in the early morning light
Bm A
after a silent, peaceful night
Em
you took my heart away
Bm A
oh i wish, i wish you could have stayed

E- Bm- A

Took to many codeines..I feel pretty numb...feels good right now...Sometimes I wonder if i'm crazy sometimes..I think I may be..But not crazy enough to be thrown into a hospital...That would break me I believe..I am praying what little strength I have left and what strength he's extending to me will be enough to get me through this bullshit.

I wonder lots...Is it enough to ruin someones heart in order to appease mine?
Will I be able to make it alone...while I wait for my knight?
Am I going to let this fear take over me and stifle what could be?

Am I so cold? So fucking selfish...A liar...Do I deserve any happiness?

Help me....hold me....push me.....love me...take me....

If I can't get through this...I mine as well roll over and die.