i go through the motions
hopeing that if i dont complain too much
you will throw me a scrap of emotion
so fucking needy
why do i even bother with this shell that is me
none of this heartache will help me
when i am dead
these feelings wasted on so much pain
my mind is so different now
defeated beat down like a lame animal
no fucking glimmer of hope
for me
not today
not ever