Fuck

Go fuck yourself.
I fucking love you.
What the fuck?
Holy fuck!
Geezus fucking criste.
Fucking great.
Ah fuck!

I want you right fucking now.
Shit! Fuck!
Fuck you.
Get the fuck away from me!
Fuck this!
For fuck sakes!
Fucking eh!
Don't be a fucking pussy.
Bloody fucking hell.
Fucking bullshit.

i go through the motions
hopeing that if i dont complain too much
you will throw me a scrap of emotion
so fucking needy
why do i even bother with this shell that is me
none of this heartache will help me
when i am dead
these feelings wasted on so much pain
my mind is so different now
defeated beat down like a lame animal
no fucking glimmer of hope
for me
not today
not ever

You sit there and talk shit about me to your family
When all Iv'e done for you is stick up for you
Defend you even on your worst fucking days
I stood by you when your wife left
even when you still call her your wife
even when you degrade me
even after youve changed my mind
and made me completely different
inside and out youve hardend my heart
numbed my emotions
i'm afraid of everyone
I'm especially afraid of myself
of having happyness
fuck your chains
and your degradation
and the ugliness you've brought to my heart
One of these days I wont be here...
To push around
or be used
then you can truely make your miserable life happy

Me

E-rotic
R-adical
I-ntense
C-aring
A-morous


L-inda
Y-oYo
N-ervous
N-utty


H-umorous
E-ntertaining
N-eedy
N-ifty
E-ccentric

TUGGING AT THE HEART STRINGS OF OUR INTENSE EMOTIONS
THE SLIGHTEST HINT AT ROMANCE
SENDS MY HEART AND MIND SOARING AND FLUTTERING
LIKE THE BUTTERFLYS
CRASHING AND TICKLING MY STOMACH
AT THE MENTION OF WARMTH

SENDS WAVES OF HEAT
EXACTLY TO THE RIGHT SPOTS
MAKING ME CRAVE FOR YOUR TOUCH
EVEN MORE WITH EACH PASSING HINT

WE ARE CONNECTED

KNOWING WHAT EACHOTHER ARE THINKING
EVEN BEFORE THE OTHER HAS TIME
TO EXPRESS IT THROUGH WORDS
ALWAYS ASTONISHING EACHOTHER
BECAUSE OF THE SHORTNESS OF OUR COMPANIONSHIP
BUT ALWAYS LEAVING OUR BODIES, HEARTS, AND SPIRITS
OPEN
TO WHAT WE HAVE NOW
AND WHAT MIGHT BE

Jigsaw

(Note to reader...Madder Mortem is a kick ass band...and i loved this songs lyrics. I thought Id share them.)




Words vomited into a face
Cold leavings, there's only bleak and lifeless duty
Moan into my ear, though i know
You would break me but i will watch you choke
I'll tear myself into peices
And grow stronger and colder
I turn the tables on you
There's no place to hide
I tear myself into peices
There's nothing here to hold me
I tell myself apart from you
Above and beyond
I tear myself into peices
Know i'm beyond all dispair
Dont turn your back on me again,
Transcribing my name to nothing
Hope a saviour with all fingers crossed
I slip on my gloves and carve a flawless icon
Into pieces
I tear myself into peices
Placeing me where i belong
Outside all soft dreams and outside the throng
Fools
The error is all in yourselves
The ideal is pure and cruel and nauseates you
So give me the crown and the throne
I render you dead and tear all you completed
Into pieces

Can I even do this
Is my will and determination strong enough
I am looking into the unknown
Staring deep into the possibilitys
Seeing flashes of brightness and hope
I get glimpses that are frightening as well
frightening enought to test my resolve
enought to tear my fragile confidence into peices
I start to question myself
and those are the times I feel the weakest
Doubting my decisions
only when your face comes into view
my will returns
the light bursts from the darkness
warms my face
my heart
rejuvinates my soul
you push me foreward with all your might
while the wrath is pushing me back down
youre goodness and love makes me want to fight foreward
to begin
this new journey
of hope
of fear
of love
and beauty

STRUGGLING WITH MY DEMONS
EVERYDAY
THE COLDNESS I HAVE WITHIN ME
SLOWLY FREEZING MY HEART
TRANSFORMING ME INTO
THIS CREATURE DEVOID OF FEELING
SELFISH AND ANGRY AND UGLY
I BRING HURT AND FRIDGEDNESS TO THOSE AROUND ME
WITH THE TRUTH OF THE FUTURE
AND THE LIES OF THE PAST
I LEAVE PEOPLE NUMB
AFTER THEY'VE EXPERIENCED THE BEING THAT IS ME
MAKING THEM FEAR THE FUTURE
ROBBING THEIR PAST
RUNNING AS FAST AS THEY CAN
IN THE OTHER DIRECTION
LEAVING ME ALONE
MY EMOTIONS BEING DRAINED
ONCE AGAIN

Just a bunch of crap

do you love me unconditionally?
would you die for me
do you love me willingly
would you love me even at my worst
do you love me when im cranky
would you love me when I screw up dinner
do you love me when im crying and scared
would you love me when i am independant
do you love me for real
would you spend your life with me
and love me forever