
Monday, October 03, 2005
Solemn promises to broken hearts

When I walk into the room you're smile disappears as if I've just stolen your light
Why is that you continue to ask me to stay if you only spew complaints?
Always fighting, always struggling, always depressed.
Allowing me to do things..Then making me feel guilty about doing them afterwards.
Why even bother
enjoying things when I'm always afraid of your reaction..Or setting you off
We had good times
and I suppose that's what I'm hanging on too
and the guilt
binds me here too
I wish my heart was cold
Numb
It would make things easier in the long run
But that damned haze you keep me under
Makes me float through my day's
Hoping tomorrow will be better then today
Sick: Day #2

K so the past couple of days Iv'e be soo sick. My normally sparse sleep is even worse than usual. Tossing and turning because my limbs go numb and are sore from being sick. OOOH my bones! And never anytime to relax really Iv'e taken on a few too many things on here and have been trying to catch up. Ive got a couple of things knocked off my list but thats just a single drip in a big bucket needing to be filled.
I guess this is all for now.
I might do a little writting later on tonight, depending on if my head feels like it's in a vice or not.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Anguish

Pain stabs through my heart
I pretend not to feel it
pretend that it doesnt affect me in the least
Just wait for it to pass
Wonder why my life is riddled in such pain
Waiting for the numbness to return so I can function
I wish sometimes I didn't feel so deeply
Then I would be able to fit in with all the other fake people of this earth
Why was I chosen to be this way?
To care so powerfully and to be hurt so utterly
My souls already tattered and torn so what purpose do I serve?
I only hope my purpose reveals itself
Before this pain extinguishes what light I have left
Saturday, October 01, 2005
A little glimpse of Saskatoon hell.
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