Today I woke up, talked to Mik for a while, looked out my window and my roommates husband was still him. With her being 9 months pregnant I figured something has to be up, so I took myself downstairs with Mik on the line and saw her kid sitting on the couch watching cartoons. "Aren't you going to school?" I asked. "I dunno, where's my mom?" she responded. I told her I thought she was upstairs and off she went to find out what the deal is. Kids are so great for that. Their investigative nature overpowering their hypnosis with the TV. She comes running back downstairs and says, "my mom thought her water broke but it didn't". I kept thinking how can you mistake your water breaking, it either does or it doesn't. So I went about my morning business, eating breakfast and getting ready for work.
I came down stairs to pack up the rest of my lunch and was surprised to see her standing outside walking around with the dog. I opened the sliding glass door and said I had thought she would be laying down! She began to tell me her water really did break and she was walking around to try and get things moving along. Well that was great news, this baby has been highly anticipated. I am so excited. I love babies! I seriously can't wait to have children of my own.
After she came in from being outside she told me she got a call from her doctor saying she needed to come to the hospital to be checked and they were going to induce labor seeing as her due date is tomorrow anyway. I told her I wanted to pray for her and baby, so I layed a hand on her belly and asked God to keep her and the baby safe and healthy that the birthing process would be as pain free as possible and that everything went quickly. I swear I was so excited I could burst.
As I was walking to work this morning, I usually have a half hour or so I can just think about everything going on. Maybe a bit like meditation I suppose. Sometimes I pray, sometimes I just lose myself in thoughts. I thought, last year at this time on this very day I was in the hospital, in the delivery room with my exes daughter, stroking her head, giving her soothing encouragement as she had a C-section. We cried together when her son finally was born..it was an amazing time. I was also so sad because I knew my time with them was going to be short, as I was making my mind up to start my life over and to break free of the chains my ex had wrapped firmly around me. I hated myself. Sometimes I still do for abandoning them. But I had to do what I needed to do for myself. It was either that or live a life of complete misery, of abuse, of sheer hell.
Then I kept thinking, how different my life is now, I am working, I am clean, I have true love, I have a life. It's been such a long hard journey for me. I pray I can keep strong and continue on the path that I've been on this past year.
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