I swear all I think about all day is food and eating mingled with thoughts of Mik and our future together. I am always friggen hungry. I lost a bunch of weight and I have gained a few pounds back and I feel like a slob. I am addicted to food and it's not like this is an addiction that you can quit either. YOU HAVE TO EAT.
I suppose the patterns in my life show that this would be a logical step. I've been addicted to alcohol, addicted to bad men, and addicted to drugs. This is the first time that I've given up all three of those. Now instead of the three evils I just mentioned, it's eating!
My mental state felt good when I was losing weight. I mean, I don't want to be super model skinny anyway. I'm too short for that to begin with. I just want to be to a nice healthy weight. For the past couple of years my classification has been leaning towards the obese. I just don't know how to stop after I start up.
It's a horrible cycle. I feel bad when I eat but I eat when I feel bad. I seriously don't want to be one of those people who can't keep up with their children, can't walk through the mall with out the aid of a battery powered wheel chair, or at some point just loses the will to do anything active.
Mik helps me a lot. He is always encouraging me and telling me how beautiful I look to him. Let me tell you it does help. But I do have years of self esteem issues that can hinder progress quite easily. I guess all I can do is to keep trying, Use Mik as part of my support system and be realistic about weight loss.
7 comments:
I understand how you feel - I like my munchies. I bought pills to help me stop thinking about food. They work...but I still haven't lost weight.
Yah, I was looking at that ALLI stuff. I considered it for a minute. But knowing my luck I'd binge out and eat more than 15 grams of fat and lose control of my bowels because of it. I am not into crapping my pants in public. I just need to learn some self control. Easier said than done sometimes though I know.
I can relate, too. Just be healthy and don't be hard on yourself.
Chances are I'm always going to be "a few pounds overweight." I think part of it is working at it and part of it is somehow being content w/ where you're already at.
And congrats on the 30 pounds you ALREADY LOST!
Yeah, Emily is right, 30 pounds is a big deal, so it isn't like you need to feel bad about that.
Don't buy Alli, that stuff isn't worth it...mostly what works is the diet and exervise plan...and you can find plenty of good ones on-line for free.
It's funny, I do exercise. I am one of the most active people I know. Besides Mik with his paintball and his manly aussie "I live in the outback" thing. I walk roughly 2.6 miles a day. It's what I eat. I just eat too much and at the wrong times. I think I read somewhere I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am happy, sad, or whatever my mood may be. I need to get out of that habit. Some distractions should do the trick as I am going to start working like a billion hours a week again come November.
Yeah, I think exercise is the big thing I lack. I try to exercise, but it's hard to stay motivated.
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